"rofessor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."
"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television."
Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?
Blonde: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!
水的分子式
老师:水的分子式是什么?
花瓶:HIJKLMNO!!
老师:你在说什么?
花瓶:昨天你不是说H to O吗?
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "op prepared. Prepare yourself."